Reading During This Hard Time

CW: Coronavirus, depression, anxiety

I’m using this pic because I love it and I miss our old beach. We’re a few minutes away from it now and trying not to go out during lockdown. Even for walks. 😦

I don’t know what it is about social distancing and lockdowns, but it really puts a damper on my want to read.

For a few months now I have been in a reading slump. I think a lot of it was due to trying to figure out a new schedule and working on balancing a new work load. And maybe also the anxiety that came before my big move. For those that don’t know, I started college in January before my gap year ended in March. It was a great decision and I feel a lot better moving out there.

Maybe part of the reason my reading slump started to finally subside was being on my own. Finally being away from major stressors and getting to set my own schedule? I started to read again. And I was so happy to.

I read a few comics and finished a handful of queer books on Wattpad and started Once & Future. I made it almost half way through Once & Future before I had to prepare for finals week. So I decided to put it aside and focus on the end of my studies.

Around that time is when things started to get serious with the COVID-19. Both of my houses (family is divorced) fall under the high risk category. So I became extremely stressed. Especially since my mom continues to work during lockdown because she can’t afford not to. Luckily my dad (and the office/his group) is able to work from home.

On top of it we were directed not to come back to campus and I had the stress of trying to move out of dorm and move back to my very rambunctious house. A place that is very stressful for me and where I only have a loft with no door to get away from everyone.

At first, when finals were moved online and classes were pushed an extra week out after our spring break, I was excited because I had more time to catch up on everything I wanted to read. But that’s not what ended up happening. I could feel myself fall into a depression and I think everything has finally caught up to me.

No matter how much I wanted during that time, I couldn’t bring myself to read. I would sit there staring at the pages, rereading the same lines over and over again.

Finally I caved and bought a Switch when we went to get groceries. Animal Crossing has really brought up my mood and I can feel my want to read and write and finish blog posts I had half started before this coming back. I can feel my obsessive playing of Animal Crossing winding down and I know I’ll be finishing Once & Future and my Running With Lions review soon and actually pick up my writing project again and I’m actually excited about them. I haven’t been excited in a while.

Hopefully this will be good and I’ll finally be able to juggle my blog and school work and my writing when my spring quarter starts next week.

Maybe start weekly updates since 2/3 courses are writing courses (one requires 4 different readings. So that’ll boost my Goodreads goal haha)

I hope everyone will have a good day soon and your health stays alright or you get better. I’m always here to chat about Animal Crossing, books, queer things, writing problems and cute pet pics.

Stay safe. Wash your hands. Social Distance. Stay Home.

Love y’all,